The pain that no one sees or the pain that hurts in the mirror inside
A beautiful body in the eyes of others. A void inside. The idealized “shape” posted on social media. An immeasurable emotional cost....
June 18, 2026
Current Themes
The power of mindfulness in interpersonal relationships
There's no way I can avoid writing about last weekend. The dear Manuella O’Connel was with us at CEFI conducting the Mindfulness in Interpersonal Relationships Workshop. It was an entire Saturday and Sunday morning full of practices. I'm sure I left different from how I entered.Mindfulness, contrary to what many imagine, is not “emptying the mind”, but choosing, with intention, something from the internal or external world to direct attention to. This means being present in what I think, feel or what happens to me. around me, without getting attached, allowing thoughts and emotions to pass like clouds in the sky or waves in the sea.But after all, what is this for?Practicing mindfulness helps us to be aware of what happens within us, offering the chance to choose how to act, instead of responding on automatic pilot, with impulses that so often harm our relationships.In contextual therapies, mindfulness is an essential tool for change. The therapist exercises presence to choose more appropriate interventions, observe the patient clearly or teach the patient to observe themselves. This stance makes mindfulness not just a technique, but a context for transformation. The new thing that the Argentine psychologist brought us was using mindfulness as a vehicle for change! In other words, using this attention in the relationship to transform the patient's relational patterns.In this place, the therapist's attention turns to himself, to the patient and to the relationship, moment by moment. It doesn’t matter so much what is “right” or “wrong” to say, but how the other person’s words resonate with me. I learned that, if I am truly connected with that relationship, in the “Me, Here, Now”, I can capture what often cannot be said by the patient, and this enhances the intervention in a profoundly transformative way.Sitting in front of someone with openness and presence is not easy at all. It requires the motto of FAP (Functional Analytical Therapy): Awareness, Courage and Love. When we speak from this stance, connection with others is inevitable. And how beautiful it would be if we could take this to all of our relationships, not just as therapists, but as people. This learning touched something very valuable in me: the desire for peace between people and in the world. It was because of this ideal that I chose to study journalism — I wanted to contribute to a fairer society. And, after the disappointment with the profession, psychology opened up new ways to improve people's lives, albeit on a more individual basis.Discovering interpersonal mindfulness with Manuella made me realize that what I carry in my heart can also be present in the session. Psychotherapy does not have to be just intellectual. Marsha Linehan, creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy – DBT) already described the dialectic between the rational mind and the emotional mind, which are found in the wise mind. Being in front of others in full attention is, at the same time, challenging and transformative. It's as if each silence gained meaning, and each word finally came from the heart.By: Viviane Grafitti...
June 02, 2026The air we breathe in contextual therapies
In the last few days I have been reading materials about the content of the table that I will be part of at the CEFI Congress, and an excerpt from a book caught my attention:...
June 02, 2026LETTER TO A YOUNG COUPLE
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March 29, 2026What stories about age are we carrying?
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March 22, 2026A Marathon between Rain, Blood and Women's Day
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March 22, 2026What changes? And what remains?
In the last week of the year, I had a meeting with dear friends. One of those meetings that only happen at this time, when we haven't seen each other for a long time. A friend welcomed us to her new house, telling us about the move and presenting us with a table full of delicacies to enjoy. The view was breathtaking: a landscape known to all of us. We grew up in that country town, we looked at those places countless times and, still, from up there, it was a beautiful surprise....
February 20, 2026What blocks movement?
I was reading a chapter of a book about Compassion-Focused Therapy when I came across several ideas that caught my attention. Some of them made me think about the clinic, others made me reflect on situations in my own life. But, among all the concepts presented, there was a phrase that resonated inside me for longer than I expected, as if I had found a place to live, insisting on being revisited....
November 24, 2025When a Skill Surprises
You know, I have a problem that sometimes makes me feel embarrassed: I forget to buy a gift in advance to go to a birthday party. (…) while I was coordinating the DBT skills training, I realized that I could use one of the emotional regulation skills: Anticipation*. (…) By doing this, I was able to see more clearly what was hindering me and, thus, accept that this is, in fact, a difficulty. (…) Some skills are not just for solving problems, but for reminding us how we want to act....
November 14, 2025Ending cycles with love: a look from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
This last week I experienced many cycle endings up close and what I mostnoticed was the great presence of love. We had a loving farewell to a teammate and I accompanied dear friends saying goodbye to loved ones: father, former therapist and sister. Being so close to this pain made me remember my goodbyes andthe immensity of love and pain that were present there. Closing hurts. It hurts because there was meaning. I’ve always carried this phrase with me: “The size of pain is the size of love.” So I bring here the contribution that the practice of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can bring us in these moments....
November 06, 2025