The emotional pain of a separation takes time to heal

When a relationship goes to its end, a process is beginning full of emotional pain, nostalgia, fear, uncertainty and sadness; Becoming aware that this special being, with whom plans had been made for the future, no longer follows in history, and modifying the routine and everyday habits-without involving that person-becomes difficult and almost impossible to support. /P>

we feel emotional pain. A pain from leaving the heart. Culturally, this pain has accompanied us for centuries through poems and songs full of suffering. Emotional pain is a wound that no one sees and takes too long to heal. We all have it.

In relation to our brain and emotional pain, neuroscientists have discovered something important: the areas of the brain that are activated when we suffer physical pain are the same when we experience restlessness, sadness and more intense despair. That is, when someone important cheats us or hurts us intensely, the pain reaches a mental and physiological level.

We are used to avoiding emotional pain. Perhaps it is something cultural, as if it were to show weakness. This is often because we are taught to "conceal" what we feel. But far from seeing emotional pain as a defeat or symbol of weakness, we can learn to recognize it as part of our essence.

Let's remember: we have the right to cry, to feel angry.

People need to channel their emotions. Never follow the advice of those who say, “Don't cry, look up, go ahead and forget everything, act as if nothing has happened…” Since when we have to avoid what hurts us? Never. We need to understand what is happening. To close a step, we need to “understand, understand, make sense” and not escape.

crying is necessary, hygienic and healthy. Just like feeling angry and getting anger. All of this favors emotional relief and as such should be lived for a period. Who does not vent, does not “relieve”, and this, in the long term, has consequences. On the other hand, emotional relief must be punctual and do not need to take months, because in this case if we take us only for negative emotions for a long time, we risk falling into a depressive state.

A survey by Lewandowski and Bizzoco (2007) noted that out of 155 surveyed adults who were involved in a marital separation, 71 percent took about three months to begin to see the positive aspects of loving separation. This does not mean that they forgot the relationship, but accepted that pain is learning and an experience that helps grow emotionally.

Remembering that each person has their time to process a separation, as it is a kind of dream mourning, what has been built together and life plans, and this process can take between 6 months to 2 years to elaborate . Emotional pain, when opening it, can be overcome with new dreams, with new inspirations and hopes. They are internal wounds that are gradually healing, they will hurt every day a little less and allowing an opening to resume life, certainly with another perspective, in a new way forward.

This text is authored by the member of the Cefi Contextus - Mara Lins

team.