Yellow September: Let's listen?

"The world would be best if I was not in it"

"I just want this to pass"

"There's nothing left for me here"

"This will never pass"

"others will get better without me"

"I think of killing me"

Have you heard someone saying this? How was it for you to listen? These and several other reports can be verbalized by people who are suffering a lot and even, they may be thinking of killing themselves. Today is the World Suicide Prevention Day that is the act of taking your own life. Therefore, we of life - care core to suicide along with the rest of CEFI, we would like to take advantage of this date to make a little awareness about this theme.

How do you react when you listen to someone saying this? You make comments like "What horror, do not even say such a thing," "ah, but look at all good that you have," "You need to get out of it," "just strive," "asks for help for God, he Will you help you "? Maybe they are not exactly those comments, but have you noticed trying to take the person from there, making it feel better? It is understandable that you have the impulse to do this, when we see someone in great suffering, we want to take the person from there, solve the situation, make it feel better and we are afraid that the person does something against their own life.

But this is not the best way. Why? Because this generates a distance, the person feels isolated, not understood, alone. The others do not understand it, they can not understand their experience and suffering. And this does not diminish the risk of the person, nor does it feel better.

Think of the following situation: A person ends with his partner and feels the need to share how he is feeling with people she trusts. So she expresses how sad she is, that she misses him, who has the fear of never falling in love with her life again. Now imagine that when the person begins to express himself, the listener interrupts her with comments of the type I quoted earlier. How would that person feel? At least she would feel alone with her pain, unable to share, feeling inappropriate for feeling that way.One person with suicidal ideation is a person who has a suffering and this suffering needs to be welcomed. Yes, it is important to seek professional help that can help this person reduce this suffering with different strategies. But the first step is to listen to it, allow yourself to look and feel your suffering, accept it. Remember, you are not approving suicidal behavior, it is only welcoming the emotion, the suffering that brings this impulse. Is different. This person can feel more welcomed and this decreases its insulation sensation (which is a protective factor for suicide). After that, you can help you seek professional help.

Let's take this first step? If you are feeling this way or know someone you are, our core is open doors to help them. We hope this text has been helpful!

article written by Mariana Dillenburg, psychologist and member of the core life of CEFI / FACEFI