Why is it so difficult to talk about suicide?

Why is it so difficult to talk about suicide?

This month the topic of suicide has more relevance to be talked about, but in general, throughout the year we avoid talking about it and the impact that suicide has on the close people who have experienced this situation and on society in general.

The difficulty in talking about suicide happens, even, with close people, such as family and friends, either because of guilt, shame and fear of being labeled or invalidated, and, in some cases, because they feel responsible for the death of the loved one and with the feeling that they should do more.

The strategies to deal with emotional experiences are varied, some avoid talking about the topic, change addresses or, in other cases, modify the history of death to avoid stigma by association. Family members also reduce their social interaction, ashamed of not knowing what to say or how others will react, talking little about what happened, trying to care for the image of the loved one, and with the feeling of little understanding of their surroundings about their loss, feeling inadequate and hindering the emotional expression that would help to elaborate his grief.

The community in general favors a certain vulnerability by not talking about suicide, attributing negative attitudes and associations to people who think or have attempted suicide. These prejudices are also extended to friends, family members or people linked to the person who attempted suicide, which increases the stress and decreases the quality of life of the affected people, generating, in the worst case, a family and social disruption to avoid the stigma of suicide death.

In the case of health professionals who worked directly or indirectly with a patient who thinks about suicide, they also experience the loss of the person, and on many occasions they feel responsible for death, with the feeling of failure by fail to prevent. The answer in general is similar to that of family members: they avoid talking about what happened for fear of the reactions of family members, colleagues, other professionals, or of being held responsible for death, hindering the continuity of their work and reducing their quality of life, in addition to of not having a space to talk about their patient's suicide.

Suicide is a stigmatized problem, and its natural and open expression is restricted in multiple contexts, including people at risk of suicide, who evaluate their own experience with the same negative attitudes as culture puts on suicide.

The result of this self-stigmatization is that the person changes the perception of what they are feeling, including social judgments and generating concern about what others may do or think about them, and with the feeling of being inadequate for having ideas related to suicide.

These conditions can influence the person at risk of suicide not to express what they are feeling, decreasing the possibility of receiving support or help from their support networks. At the same time, the community does not know how to deal with the issue, and is generally afraid to speak, as if not talking about the problem would make it disappear, or, even, for fear of not knowing what to do or what to say. The strategy for dealing with fear ends up being the same: avoid talking about suicide.

What to do?

We need to talk about suicide, and we need to listen consciously, without judgment, really interested in understanding what is happening, what we are listening to, and putting each answer in context.

Simplifying suicide by classifying it as a symptom, without understanding it within the family, within society, within culture, only favors the isolation and loneliness that affects so many people who are impacted by suicide in the world.

Suicide is a complex issue with multiple variables, and to reduce the risks we need to be open to listening and speaking, creating a favorable environment to take care of ourselves as a society. It is important to understand suicide widely, we are part of that context that can make a difference and generate conditions to find the understanding we need.

Talking about suicide avoids its stigmatization.