Current Themes

Avoid unnecessary suffering and attend to your needs

In fact, we spend our lives avoiding suffering.
However, paradoxically, sometimes our attitudes, or lack thereof, in an attempt to keep us safe, drive us or keep us connected to suffering.
At this moment, I think I could go on several paths to talk about our characteristic. How about the times that we are procrastinating, anxious, in circles, like a dog chasing its tail. I could talk about some distressing aspects of self-criticism, which often paralyzes us. But what remains fixed in my head is the change of channel, the turn of the key, which I heard from a teacher when talking about the resistances that we often face in the face of the attitudes that can benefit us.
One point is to look at what prevents or keeps us from doing something good or necessary for ourselves. The other is precisely to be able to be attentive, to relate, and to understand what our needs are asking to be met with our avoidance behavior (procrastinator, or any other expression you want to use at this moment) of what can keep us in situations that harm us , which make us close to avoidable suffering.
If, for example, we follow the CNV line *, when we find ourselves restless, anxious, procrastinating, self-critical, stop a little, reflect more deeply and try to answer the following points:
- When I stop doing it, I postpone it, I don't prioritize "it" (a task, my treatment, a physical activity)
I feel ... (anxious, sad, frustrated)
E I realize that my needs for ... (security, evolution, tranquility) are not being met.

This exercise can help you to be aware and meet your real needs.
When you find yourself repeating situations that end up bringing you closer to suffering, try to take a deep breath 3 times. Get in touch with your experience right now. Reflect on the points mentioned above. Look for actions that meet your fundamental needs effectively.
Test that possibility next time! Perhaps this can give you more space to avoid suffering from the expectation, or with what has not been done, more time for self-care and more willingness to prioritize what benefits you.
Take care of yourself very well. Focus on your deep personal, physical, mental, emotional well-being.
Let go of self-demand and self-criticism a little: recognize your needs and look for resources available to meet them.

* CNV - Nonviolent Communication