Absences Present

Absences present

Losing someone is one of life's almost inevitable painful sensations, we will go through it at one time or another. We don't like to contemplate this idea, but it is there. We hope that the life cycle is fulfilled and “natural”. However, it is inevitable to face the reality of death and the end. And this encounter is often inevitably painful.

Many feelings can arise when experiencing grief, A common feeling, and that can be painful is sadness. Sadness is very important in the process, as it is a recognition of the absence of that person, and the affection of the relationship with him. Knowing this importance does not make the process easier or less painful. Nor does it teach us to go ahead and live life without that person. We need time to discover in ourselves what is needed to transform the painful sadness of the beginning into a gentle sadness that recognizes the love that we live with that person. Other times, time is not enough, and our life seems to be turned upside down, and the grief is prolonged and turns into endless suffering. We cannot move away from that absence, which is always present. Sometimes, months or years later, the absence is there, as present as ever, and that sadness is still only pain - which makes grieving complicated.

Sufferings need not be as present in our lives as the affection we had for those who left. After all, we don't want love to go away. Being able to live all these feelings so that they can be part of our history, without harming us, is one of the objectives of the research group on complicated mourning that the core of studies on mourning - CEFI CORA develops.

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By Guilherme Moritz

& Ana Maria Dall'Agnese