Welcoming the mourning: reconnecting with life after floods in Rio Grande do Sul

When we talk about mourning, although we associate it with loss, this loss is always related to a bond, a bond that was built and has become important in our lives. The pain in mourning arises by recognizing that this valuable we build is no longer. This bond is usually linked to our values, which in the context of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) guide us about where we should redirect our attention and effort. This pain gives the feeling that we need to get away from it as soon as possible, but the reality is that it shows us the importance of the bond. This bond is not limited to people; It can also include a home or things that have been built with effort over the years in this home. Recognizing the nature of the bond is essential to understand mourning and decide which way to go to maintain the essence of this bond.

A way to understand how grief works is through the dual processing model. This perspective suggests that people on mourning oscillate between two types of activities: those facing loss directly (loss oriented) and those that avoid loss when focusing on everyday life and new adaptations (oriented to restoration). Trying to maintain a balance between connecting with our loss and what it implies and focusing on the things we need to do to adapt can be an alternative that helps people transit their grief in a healthier way.

In clinical practice, it is essential to recognize and respect the nature of the bond that the patient had with what was lost. Proper conceptualization of the case allows the therapist to identify the underlying values and the areas where the patient needs greater support.

To help patients interact between loss and restoration oriented activities, it is useful to foster certain movements:

1. Disposal : Be open to experimenting and expressing the pain of loss.
2. Consciousness : Recognize and accept the emotions and thoughts that arise during mourning.
3. Commitment : Taking actions that honor the lost bond while advancing to adapt to a new reality.

In the context of ACT, maintaining contact with the bond means honoring and remembering the lost person, as well as the things and places we build and generated a connection. To honor this bond, we can do something to show how important it is, like some kind of ritual. It may be to keep some object or symbol that allows you to reconnect with all the time lived with this bond, or simply remember and talk about the person or the bonds we build. This approach does not seek to avoid pain, but integrate it as part of our own experience, aligned with our personal values.

If you are experiencing a difficult situation, such as the recent floods in Rio Grande do Sul who left many people without home, without their loved ones and without the heritage they have built for years, remember that it is a moment to take care of yourself right now. This pain probably indicates that the bond you have is important, so the challenge implies recognizing what is essential, and can be a good time to rebuild life trying to maintain what is important, the essential. Seeking support can be a good way right now, either through a listening group or psychological follow -up. This can help you move through this process so challenging that it will come in the coming months.