All Souls' Day: Between Mourning and Rituals

Of Christian origin and dating back to the Middle Ages, All Souls' Day today is celebrated in different Western countries. The definition of a date (recognized worldwide as 11/11) came to give meaning to rituals aimed at the dead, which have been going on since Neanderthal man.

Thus, All Souls' Day is marked by the recognition of rituals directed at mourning and the reminder of a finitude of life - "remember death", from Latin "Memento Mori". It is a day of honor and reflection when people often go to the cemetery or other places that resemble their deceased loved ones. A reunion circumscribed by ambivalent feelings like longing, sadness and love.

The importance of rites in marking experiences lies in the cultural transmission of values ​​and attitudes, as well as in the learning process and in defining life cycle transitions. That is, they have a function of, through symbolic acts, condensing different constituent elements of life and death into a representative framework. In the case of mourning, rituals can be facilitators of the process.

It must be acknowledged that an effective ritual must be designed from what makes sense to a person or a people, with the intention of representing a unique experience. Thus, we can say that All Souls' Day is celebrated in different ways between families and cultures, including variations in its origins. In Mexico, for example, Día de los Muertos is marked by indigenous influences and forms a major festival commemorating the visit of the dead to relatives and friends still alive.

On this day, respect your beliefs and feelings. Think of this ritual as an expression of your values ​​and allow yourself to learn from life and death. Remember, get emotional and connect. If you wish, stay close to those you love, or allow yourself time to reflect. If you feel it is necessary, seek clinical care: CORA is the core of CEFI that specializes in providing grief-focused services and we are ready to serve you.

CEFI would like to express its respect for loved ones who have passed away and for those who feel their loss, paying tribute to Rubem Alves's words:

"Oysters are mollusks, soft, skeletal animals that represent the delights of gastronomists. They can be eaten raw, with lemon drops, with rice, paellas, soups. Without defenses - they are tame animals - they would be easy prey. To prevent this from happening, their wisdom taught them to make houses, hard shells, inside which they live. For there was a colony of oysters, many oysters on a seabed. They were happy oysters. happy because out of their shells came a delicate melody, aquatic music, as if it were a Gregorian chant, all singing the same song, with one exception: a solitary oyster that made a solitary solo. a very sad song. The happy oysters laughed at her and said, "She doesn't come out of her depression ..." It wasn't depression. It was pain. For a grain of sand had entered her flesh and it hurt, it hurt, it hurt. And she had no way of get rid of it, the grain of sand. But it was possible to get rid of the pain. Her body knew that to get rid of the pain that the grain of sand caused her, due to its roughness, edges and tips, it was enough to wrap it with a smooth, shiny and round substance. So as she sang her sad song, her body did the work - because of the pain that the grain of sand caused her. One day a fisherman passed by with his boat. He launched the net and the whole oyster colony, including the sufferer, was fished. The fisherman rejoiced, took them home, and his wife made delicious oyster soup. Delighting with the oysters, his teeth suddenly hit a hard object that was inside an oyster. He took it in his fingers and smiled happily: it was a pearl, a beautiful pearl. Only the suffering oyster had made a pearl. He took it and gave it to his wife. "Happy Oyster Doesn't Make Pearls - Rubem Alves

Text written by Gustavo Affonso Gomes and Mariana Damin Zanatta
Psychologists of the CEFI / CORA Team